What I am Not Going to Write About #3

Today is Wednesday October 28th and I am in Bozeman, Montana and it is snowing outside. Actually, it is not snowing right now there is just a lot of snow on the ground. Oh – here is the update – I just looked out the window and it is snowing a bit.

I was not surprised about the snow today at all because it was snowing very hard last night when we came back from the pizza restaurant.

Now back to the subject of what I am not going to write about today.

I am not going to write about how I saw polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba on a tundra buggy. I am not going to tell you about the 4 polar bears that I saw napping or the one named Paul that was the biggest and scariest and ate bananas or how he came on board the tundra buggy and started to drive. He drove us to the shopping mall to get some more bananas. The shop keeper didn’t let him buy anything because he didn’t have any money so everybody on the tundra buggy paid for him to get 500 bunches of bananas. He goes bananas when he doesn’t get bananas.

Alright, that was a lie. He really doesn’t like bananas. Here is a polar bear fact – polar bears eat fish and seals, they are carnivores and they don’t even eat fruit although if it is a matter of life and death they will.

I am not going to talk about the Bear Jail where they keep bad bears. The bad bears are those that come into the town of Churchill and try to eat the food from the garbage cans. One stripe is their warning, the second stripe and they are out. There is even a bear police. It is all very serious because no one likes bears eating trash – because if they eat all the trash the trash workers don’t get paid. And if the trash workers don’t get paid then they quit and then if the bears stop coming then the trash builds up – it is all very confusing.

I am not going to write about making chocolates with Julia – my mom’s friend who is now my friend too. The hardest part about making cakes with Julia is the taste testing because you always need to make sure the cake isn’t poisonous. To do a cake taste test you have to take a bite of the finished product, in this case chocolate cake, and the secret ingredient is fish. And that is not a joke.

Julia told us that the cake makers have to be very happy when they are making the cake or otherwise the chocolate turns bitter. I told the cake some jokes and we were all very happy anyway because we knew we would get some chocolate when it was done. I can never imagine a chocolate cake maker who wasn’t happy.

And I will not even tell about a hotel we stayed in in Chamberlain, South Dakota. The first one had a wet floor, the second one smelled like cigarettes smoke and the third one had weird coffee stains on the sheets. But the final time we went to the manager he was really upset that we were upset and he gave us a complimentary upgrade so we got to stay in a suite.

Today we are off to Idaho Falls – I hope the storm doesn’t follow us.

Adios Amigos.


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