What I am Not Going to Tell you About – Italy

I am not going to tell you about all the awesome stuff I have been doing in Italy.

Like how we had to go on the six hour plane ride from Boston to Amsterdam overnight and also the 2 hour flight from Amsterdam to Venice. The airport in Boston is called Logan. The airport in Amsterdam is called Schipol. The airport in Venice is called Marco Polo. Marco Polo is a very fun game to play in the swimming pool. It is very funny how they named an airport after a swimming pool game. Marco Polo was actually a great Italian explorer but I didn’t know that until my mom just told me.

And I won’t tell you how the airplane company Delta left our check in luggage in Amsterdam. And that the courier broke the deal that they deliver our luggage in 24 hours to the hotel – so I had to stay in my stinky clothes for 2 days.

I am not going to tell you all the fun stuff I have been doing either…like going skiing with two of my friends from London and how we have an awesome skiing instructor named Lukas. He is awesome because he is a great Italian ski instructor and he teaches things like how to do perfect parallel, we learned how to ski backwards today and ski on one ski.

I will not tell you how we have a room just for skiing and it is ironically called The Ski Room.

Our view from the window is of the ski slopes. It is kind of boring except for the occasional Moose who races by. Here in the Dolomites it is fun! The Dolomites are mountains in the Alps. We hear people speaking Italian and German. We say “Ciao” a lot.

I will not tell you about the awesome swimming pool and how the management is very mean in saying “This is not a FUN hotel, it is a WELLNESS hotel.” BORING!

So far I have only eaten penne pasta for dinner but today I am trying a chicken schnitzel. I did not want Vienner Schnitzel because it sounds too much like Weiner Schnitzel. And I think most of the readers know what a Weiner is.

I hope you enjoy this blog in which I do not tell you anything.

Go Dog Go - A Book Review

Go Dog Do – A Book Review

I liked this book because it is just sort of fun to read it again because I read it when I was much younger and just learning how to read – so now it just felt good reading it again. I remember reading it in front of a fire on Christmas Eve at our old house in London. I think it was our first Christmas there.

The kind of words that use to give me trouble were “three” – because it looks like it should be pronounced “Ta” “Ha” “Ree” – which isn’t a real word. And the word “Night” because it looks like it should be pronounced “ni” “ga” “ta”.

I also think the pictures are quite funny – especially the one on Page 60, 61 and 62. The picture on 62 is of a funky and interesting party hat that a pink poodle is wearing. I think the poodle is trying to impress another dog and is also on the way to a fun dog party.

The pink poodle is a girl because it said “a girl dog” not because it is a pink poodle because I don’t think there are specific boy and girl colors. However, I do think girls tend to like pink more than boys. Sometimes I wear pink. I have a shirt with pink in it – a tie dyed pink shirt from Ben and Jerry’s that says “I Tied it. I Dyed it . I Buyed it.”

The reappearing “Do you like my hat” is funny and interesting because the pink poodle is always trying to impress the dog – and finally she does impress him. And sometimes in our family I ask them, “Do you like my hat?” but that is usually when I am in my parrot hat. I am referencing Go Dogs Go when I ask them that.

Mainly I like the picture of the dog party because it looks like a fun and silly time. I believe there are some dogs playing tennis, some are bouncing up and down on a trampoline, one is being blown out of a cannon, opening presents, hanging from a swing, jump roping. If I was in the picture I would like to be shot out of a cannon and end up having gone all around the world and back to the tree. Then I would open up some presents and eat some cake. I would like to eat chocolate cake – or maybe ice cream cake with Chocolate Brownie Brownie Becket from JP licks. JP Licks is a very good ice cream shop close by my house. We can walk there. And my father is the Mayor – on Four Square. It is called Chocolate Brownie Brownie Becket either after my summer camp in the Berkshires or for Josh Becket, a Red Sox pitcher.

Go Dogs Go was written P.D. Eastman and I think he is a funny author good for children of young ages just learning how to read. I would strongly recommend it to kindergarteners and early first graders. But even thought I am in 3rd grade I still like to read it sometimes for good memories.

Signing off for now, Simon

A Conversation with my Mom

Right now I am in the library in Memphis, Tennessee. Yes, it is true I am in the town where Elvis lived and yes I have seen Graceland but no we are not going to go there for the tour because my parents are just saying no, because it is too expensive.

And now here is:

A Conversation with my Mom!

S: Mom, what year were you born?
M: I was born in 1962.
S: Now tell me, how long has it been since you last had chocolate?
M: It was about 36 hours ago. We were in the RV and I had a chocolate covered macadamia nut.
S: Now mom, how many chocolate covered macadamia nut clusters are left?
M: I believe there are two.
S: Are those two for me and Josh?
M: Only if you eat a mess of carrots, milk and broccoli.
S: When was the last time you had something to do with chocolate in secret?
M: Do I have to tell you the truth?
S: Yes.
M: Alright. I bought some M&M’s in Scottsdale a few weeks ago, but it was just a small packet.
S: Now mom, are there any left?
M: No. Next question please.
S: When will you next get some chocolate?
M: I am not telling. Next subject please.
S: Have you ever met an alien?
M: Only your father.
S: Dad is an alien?
M: Well, you had to know sometime. He is from the planet Zorgulon.
S: Tell me the story!
M: Not until you are 18.

S: Do you like pie?
M: As a matter of fact, yes. Especially warm and with ice cream. Anything else?
S: All this is making me hungry what about you?
M: Absolutely.
S: Lets go have lunch!
M: Next stop – The RV Cafeteria!

Hawai'i: Expensive but Beautiful

We have been in Hawaii for over a week and so far I have been snorkeling where I saw a humuhumunukunukuapua’a, the state fish of Hawaii; I went boogie boarding; I have taken beautiful walks in the park; seen the USS Arizona; visited the Polynesian Cultural Center where I learned how to play lots of Hawaiian games; and hiked through the Hawaii Volcano National Park. In the National Park I walked through a misty hot tropical forest, a lava tube that is pretty long, and along the bottom of a rocky and sharp crater. I also walked along a black sand beach and had a chat with a sea turtle. For our things we have done we didn’t have to spend much money for at all.

Here I am walking through a volcano crater that was once filled with molten lava:


Here I am chatting with a sea turtle on a black sand beach:


Because we are on a budget we have not been doing the things listed below because they are very, very expensive. They tend to be more expensive then you might think they are – because people tend to make money by things that people can’t do any place else. They also want to make it so thrilling they will recommend it to their friends, and their friends and their friends and so on.

Things we want to do in Hawai’i if we were to come back with wads of cash in our pockets:

(Editor’s Note: Simon read to me from a tourist magazine called 101 Things to Do. The following is a combination of the marketing guru’s ads with Simon’s take on the cost and the fun factor.)

Volcanic Air Tours – now you really see Hawai’i. Towering waterfalls and untouched beauty. Book your reservation today. It says it is affordable – so maybe between $400 a person. Kids rate of $380. I think that would be pretty much worth it. Although the $400 that is for just one person is what we spend for our whole family in just one week.

Open Range Horse Back Riding. Walk, trot and cantor on an 11,000 acre working ranch. How about a sunset tour? A great and fun thing. This I think is about $200 dollars per person, kids rate $130. This sounds like a ton of fun because you get out into the open plains and see Hawai’i.

Zip Line Through Paradise. Zipping over a dozen waterfalls it is the longest course and the only dual track on the island for the ultimate experience. Tours last 2 ½ hours along the Umauma stream and falls. Extreme fun for everyone. This I think is going to be about $200 per person/ kids rate of $290. This looks like fun because it is about 2 miles of zipping over a dozen waterfalls and who can’t like that?

Dolphin Quest. Swim, dive, touch and play with the dolphins. For the young and the young at heart. This I think will be about $290 per person/ kids $280. This looks like fun because you get to play with dolphins, and who doesn’t like that? I will tell you who, a big mean grouch.

Ride a torpedo. Snorkel with ease and dive deep. Lunch is included. Snorkel and dive with manta rays at night. I think this will be about $350 per person/ kids $320 because they include lunch which I am pretty sure is a hot lunch and they launch you out of a torpedo and they have to pay for all the equipment.

4D Movie Ride: taking you to the next dimension. National Geographic sea monsters and an alien safari. This I think is about$20 per person/kids $10. This looks like a ton of fun because you get to operate your own seat to what the movie is like. All the movies look very fun – who doesn’t like alien safaris?

Time Machine at the gateway of the great mountain Maunakea. Learn of its place among the stars and the hearts of the Hawaiian people. A once in this universe experience. This will be about $50 per person. Kids $20. This looks like fun because you get to go through time. And once I do that I shall change history so it can be better and I shall stop World War II from even happening so war shall not exist - but I don’t think this is about that. This is about the history of the great mountain.

Sunset Lava Adventure aboard the Lava Adventure Boat. This thrilling boat ride features fire shooting down from the cliffs into the ocean, dolphins and whales. This I think is going to be about $400/kids $390. It is so expensive because the more cooler the more expensive. Very hard adventures that are once in a universe opportunity turn out to be amazingly expensive.

Aloha from Hawaii. Mahalo for reading.

What I Am Not Going To Write About #4

Hello again. This is what I am Not Going to Write About #4, but technically it is Number 5 because I wrote a Christmas Edition.

First I am not going to write about Santa Monica and seeing my mom’s friend Janet – a.k.a. the Omnipotent Force of Janet. I am not going to write about playing poker - both Black Jack and Texas Hold ‘em or New Years Eve or going to the Santa Monica Pier where we rode the Ferris wheel and Roller Coaster and we played Whack a Mole. And my dad won the Whack a Mole game and he let me pick out the prize and it is a Blue Shark and he is named Snappy Zoo Year.

I am not going to write about making our own Sundae’s at Janet’s house with chocolate fudge ice cream, hot fudge sauce, caramel sauce and whipped cream. Or the big hike we took into the Santa Monica Mountains and my brother and I climbed Hairy Scary Hill and we did not fall down. And we thought we heard a mountain lion. The views were incredible – we could see all the way across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii.

I am not going to write about going skiing at Big Bear on my Dad’s birthday and how my brother and my mom were big wimps and they did not want to go. But I am BOJ - the Bundle of Joy – so I went with my Dad as his special Skiing Buddy birthday present. I am not going to write about coming home from skiing and Mom and Josh had set up a birthday party and we all wore beards and mustaches so we would look like my Dad. And I certainly won’t tell about the big box of Twizzler’s my dad got for his birthday.

I am not going to write about going to Joshua Tree National Park where I did the Junior Ranger Program and did lots and lots of climbing in the rocks. Or the Ranger Talk we went to about Light Pollution and another one on Humming Birds. The Light Pollution is bad because we cannot see the night time sky. Mostly the light pollution is coming from Las Vegas and Los Angeles and now I can’t see the stars and the Milky Way and things of that sort.

I am not going to write about how I went to Las Vegas and did lots of really weird things like stay at the Excalibur which is a Knight Themed hotel but it is mainly a casino. I am not going to talk about Tournament of Kings Arena which is a really cool Dinner Show or how we were sitting in the France Section and our knight won! I am not going to talk about the fair called The Midway which was downstairs in the hotel – but I do have 4 more stuffed animals that travel with me.

I am not going to write about the Grand Canyon or how I jumped off it and I am still alive – otherwise I wouldn’t be here to write this blog. When I jumped off the edge of the Grand Canyon I landed on the roof of Phantom Ranch. Nobody knew I was there because I landed very quietly. Then I saw a big chicken and I ate him in a teriyaki sauce. He was very tasty – he tasted like chicken.

I won’t write about a how I did the Junior Ranger packet as well as the CCC packet. The Civilian Conservation Corps was busy right after the Great Depression, where the workers made $25 a month which in those days was a lot of money. The CCC built the national parks and somebody even snuck a heart shaped stone into the wall of the Grand Canyon to show a girl he loved her.

Now I am here in Scottsdale, Arizona to see my Mama Jo who is my Mom’s mom. Mama Jo likes to play games, eat chocolate and have fun. And that is a very good thing in my opinion.

Good Bye from the Public Library in Scottsdale, Arizona and I will write again in a week from now.

My Disneyland Adventure

Hi, the weirdest thing happened to me just the other day. You see, I went to Disneyland. I went because on my birthday I got a special certificate that said I got to go there. I was very excited to get that certificate. I had once been to Euro Disney in France and this time I went to Disneyland in Anaheim, California.

For those of you who don’t know what Disneyland is, it is owned by Disney Corporation. I don’t know if Disney is an evil or a good corporation. I know that Wal-Mart is a very evil corporation because they destroy lots of small businesses. And people who once were the owners of small business are now check out people at Wal-Mart so they must be pretty sad.

Disneyland might be evil because it takes up lots and lots of space for the park and the parking lot and Disneyland uses lots and lots of electricity and makes lots of light pollution. Light pollution is bad because then you won’t be able to see the night sky and everyone should be able to see the night sky. In the night sky you see stars, planets, solar systems and the Milky Way. They say that Disneyland is the place where happiness is born and where dreams come true but in my opinion that is not the truth because I saw some babies crying at Disneyland

But Disneyland might be good because it gives fun times to lots of people.

Now the first ride I am going to talk about is the very scary Space Mountain. I wish I could add some scary music and some 3D effects to my blog. Actually 4D effects would be better but I think 3D effects might be more do-able. But anyhow, Space Mountain is one the top 5 scariest roller coasters in the world. Space Mountain is in a big dome so you don’t go down very often but there are lots of turns. And there are stars everywhere and you can’t really see which makes it even scarier.

The second ride is Thunder Mountain (Bah boom, bang bang bang, claps of Thunder) Thunder Mountain wasn’t that thundery. It went down many times and up many times. You were always really scared when you were going up because you knew there would be a down hill afterwards. It was like you were a minor going down into the mines in search of gold. We didn’t find any gold but we did find some dinosaur bones.

The third and final ride is the Indiana Jones Ride. Now that was very scary. I have trouble explaining because I didn’t see very much of it because it was so dark and my eyes were closed for much of the time because I was scared.

In conclusion it was definitely worth going to Disneyland because it was very fun but I would not like to pay their electric bill. I do feel a little guilty about going there because by going there you go on more rides and use more electricity and then even more people will come and use the rides and use even more electricity. I guess Disneyland has its ups and downs – kind of like roller coasters.

That is all for now. This is Simon signing off from Simon’s Blog. Good bye. Adios. Farewell. Bye bye.

PS One last thing, I do like pie.

A Blog About Simon from a French Persons Perspective

Bonjour. I am Pierre. And I am the French brother of Jean Claude. Jean Claude happened to be a pen pal of Simone when he was little. Actually, he is still little because he took a special potion. He wanted to take that special potion to ensure that he would be Simones Pen Pal for a while. Because like me, he likes Simone. He is about Simone’s age. You see, my brother was born 8 years ago on December 17, 2001right next to the Tour Eiffel in the hospital.

I read over my brothers letters and realized how nice and kind Simone is. Simone is a very nice garcon. He is very kind and always says "Bonjour" to anyone he happens to pass including the very nice little toy French poodles. The white little ones, the pink ones, the black ones. The ones with painted toenails. Even the ones with bows in their hair. He knows a lot of things and is amazing at mathematiques. He is a truly amazing and outstanding garcon.

I cannot believe how extraordinaire he is. For example, he loves chocolate crepes. They make them nice and hot here in Paris. Simone is also extraordinaire because he is very good at writing and is actually an author and has published many books. My favorite book that Simone wrote is The Life and Lies of the Biggest Toy Chihuahua in the World. I also love the way he dresses – always in green. Green is my favorite color. And guess what? Green is Simone favorite color as well. We have so much in common.

You may wonder where Simone is right now. Maybe here in Paris? You may know he is on an RV trip – so it would not work to drive the RV to Paris across the Atlantic Ocean, However I know he has a magical button in the RV and if he pushes it he is then transported into the driveway of me and my brothers condominium here is Paris about 20 feet from the Tour Eiffel

I have been to the Tour Eiffel about 500 times, I am serious. But I will not be allowed to go on it anymore once I reach 1000. One trip is cool, two times is cool. Three times is ok. Four times it is nice but it is a little boring. Five times is very boring, six times it is very very boring. Once you get to 500 times up the Tour Eiffel you don’t even want to go anymore. But once I get to 1000 times up the Tour Eiffel you get a special prize – it is a surprise what the surprise is. Perhaps free tickets to go another 1000 times up the Tour Eiffel. I hope not.

Simone has walked up the Tour Eiffel once. He counted 657 steps.

I am afraid I must be going now so Avoir to you all.

PS If you email Simone please send him best wishes from his friend Pierre.