Monday, February 22, 2010

A Conversation with my Mom

Right now I am in the library in Memphis, Tennessee. Yes, it is true I am in the town where Elvis lived and yes I have seen Graceland but no we are not going to go there for the tour because my parents are just saying no, because it is too expensive.

And now here is:

A Conversation with my Mom!

S: Mom, what year were you born?
M: I was born in 1962.
S: Now tell me, how long has it been since you last had chocolate?
M: It was about 36 hours ago. We were in the RV and I had a chocolate covered macadamia nut.
S: Now mom, how many chocolate covered macadamia nut clusters are left?
M: I believe there are two.
S: Are those two for me and Josh?
M: Only if you eat a mess of carrots, milk and broccoli.
S: When was the last time you had something to do with chocolate in secret?
M: Do I have to tell you the truth?
S: Yes.
M: Alright. I bought some M&M’s in Scottsdale a few weeks ago, but it was just a small packet.
S: Now mom, are there any left?
M: No. Next question please.
S: When will you next get some chocolate?
M: I am not telling. Next subject please.
S: Have you ever met an alien?
M: Only your father.
S: Dad is an alien?
M: Well, you had to know sometime. He is from the planet Zorgulon.
S: Tell me the story!
M: Not until you are 18.

S: Do you like pie?
M: As a matter of fact, yes. Especially warm and with ice cream. Anything else?
S: All this is making me hungry what about you?
M: Absolutely.
S: Lets go have lunch!
M: Next stop – The RV Cafeteria!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Hawai'i: Expensive but Beautiful

We have been in Hawaii for over a week and so far I have been snorkeling where I saw a humuhumunukunukuapua’a, the state fish of Hawaii; I went boogie boarding; I have taken beautiful walks in the park; seen the USS Arizona; visited the Polynesian Cultural Center where I learned how to play lots of Hawaiian games; and hiked through the Hawaii Volcano National Park. In the National Park I walked through a misty hot tropical forest, a lava tube that is pretty long, and along the bottom of a rocky and sharp crater. I also walked along a black sand beach and had a chat with a sea turtle. For our things we have done we didn’t have to spend much money for at all.

Here I am walking through a volcano crater that was once filled with molten lava:


Here I am chatting with a sea turtle on a black sand beach:


Because we are on a budget we have not been doing the things listed below because they are very, very expensive. They tend to be more expensive then you might think they are – because people tend to make money by things that people can’t do any place else. They also want to make it so thrilling they will recommend it to their friends, and their friends and their friends and so on.

Things we want to do in Hawai’i if we were to come back with wads of cash in our pockets:

(Editor’s Note: Simon read to me from a tourist magazine called 101 Things to Do. The following is a combination of the marketing guru’s ads with Simon’s take on the cost and the fun factor.)

Volcanic Air Tours – now you really see Hawai’i. Towering waterfalls and untouched beauty. Book your reservation today. It says it is affordable – so maybe between $400 a person. Kids rate of $380. I think that would be pretty much worth it. Although the $400 that is for just one person is what we spend for our whole family in just one week.

Open Range Horse Back Riding. Walk, trot and cantor on an 11,000 acre working ranch. How about a sunset tour? A great and fun thing. This I think is about $200 dollars per person, kids rate $130. This sounds like a ton of fun because you get out into the open plains and see Hawai’i.

Zip Line Through Paradise. Zipping over a dozen waterfalls it is the longest course and the only dual track on the island for the ultimate experience. Tours last 2 ½ hours along the Umauma stream and falls. Extreme fun for everyone. This I think is going to be about $200 per person/ kids rate of $290. This looks like fun because it is about 2 miles of zipping over a dozen waterfalls and who can’t like that?

Dolphin Quest. Swim, dive, touch and play with the dolphins. For the young and the young at heart. This I think will be about $290 per person/ kids $280. This looks like fun because you get to play with dolphins, and who doesn’t like that? I will tell you who, a big mean grouch.

Ride a torpedo. Snorkel with ease and dive deep. Lunch is included. Snorkel and dive with manta rays at night. I think this will be about $350 per person/ kids $320 because they include lunch which I am pretty sure is a hot lunch and they launch you out of a torpedo and they have to pay for all the equipment.

4D Movie Ride: taking you to the next dimension. National Geographic sea monsters and an alien safari. This I think is about$20 per person/kids $10. This looks like a ton of fun because you get to operate your own seat to what the movie is like. All the movies look very fun – who doesn’t like alien safaris?

Time Machine at the gateway of the great mountain Maunakea. Learn of its place among the stars and the hearts of the Hawaiian people. A once in this universe experience. This will be about $50 per person. Kids $20. This looks like fun because you get to go through time. And once I do that I shall change history so it can be better and I shall stop World War II from even happening so war shall not exist - but I don’t think this is about that. This is about the history of the great mountain.

Sunset Lava Adventure aboard the Lava Adventure Boat. This thrilling boat ride features fire shooting down from the cliffs into the ocean, dolphins and whales. This I think is going to be about $400/kids $390. It is so expensive because the more cooler the more expensive. Very hard adventures that are once in a universe opportunity turn out to be amazingly expensive.

Aloha from Hawaii. Mahalo for reading.