Park Poet

Is a tree falls in the forest, does it still make a sound?

Tree
Enormously majestic
Growing with the rain fall
Swaying in the wind
Falling in the forest
Protecting animals during storms
Oak

The Truth About My Other Pie Blog and a Story

Really, I don't like ketchup with cherry pie. And I don't like mustard or anchovies with apple pie. And I really don't like nines with eights pie, and I don't like twos with ones pie, or fives with fours pie or threes with twos pie.

And the reason I don't like gluey pie is because gluey pie glues my tongue to the roof of my mouth or the bottom of my mouth. Or someimes to the roof and then the bottom, or the bottom then the roof - it is really a pattern you know. Roof Roof Bottom Bottom - you know what I mean?

Now I will tell you a story about the mural that I am looking at as I write this in the library. We are in Hood River, Oregon. We are here because one of my Grandpas lives here and we are visiting him. We are living in a house just down the street from his and it feels like we are neighbors - that is because are neighbors.

The house we are staying in is a good house. It has three floors if you include the really spooky basement and four if you include the attic, but we cannot get into the attic. All I know about the attic is there is a string hanging from a closet that should pull down but it doesn't.

Now, here comes the story. It is 100% fiction. That means fake.

Once upon a time an iguana took a bite out of a leaf from a weeping willow tree. The iguana started to grow and magically turned into a lovely flamingo that was a beautiful shade of bright pink. The flamingo's name was Sparky and he wore a purple braclet on one foot and green beads on the other.

Well, that flamingo decided to take a little walk and there as he walked he saw a monkey sitting on a red and blue stripped bench. The monkey was green with a blue face and he seemed to be playing the trumpet and Sparky didn't want to disturb him so he walked on. He walked for about 15 minutes and then he saw a lion.

Standing on the lions back was a penguine holding an umbrella. "How interesting", thought the flamingo. "I shall go talk to them and see if I can join in their fun."

So Sparky walked over to them and asked what they were doing.

The lion said they were having some fun and playing around, the Flamingo asked if he could join in and the lion said, "Sure, but please be quiet. There is a human asleep beside us, and we don't want to wake him because we are kind animals are we don't want to disturb other creatures."

"Oh goodness," said Sparky. "I don't think I will be able to be quiet"

Editors Note: Did I mention that Sparky the Flamingo happens to be the very noisy one?

The lion said, "Oh no, please don't go. You always have much more fun when there are more people and animals to play with."

"Oh, you are right." said the Flamingo because Sparky thought the same way.

But then the Flamingo said, "You have to understand lion, that I am very noisy and I am afraid I cannot be quiet."

"That is sad," said the Lion. "Perhaps you can come back tomorrow if you can be a little more quiet, for the human might be awake then. The human might even be able to play with us."

"Alright," said Sparky sounding a little happier.

Then the Flamingo continued his walk and saw a tiny little lady bug who seemed to be resting. He didn't want to disturb it so he continued walking and came to a lake.

In the lake there was a turtle, a whale, a person with a surfboard and a pink and purple sea monster with big bulgy eyes, a twisted tail and a big belly...

TO BE CONTINUED

Random Words

I am in Sun Valley lying down on my bed with my eyes closed. I am wearing my green Holland shirt and some pants that are getting too small for me. I can tell because they are really short on me and my ankles are starting to show.

I am not alone in my bed.

I am with my brother’s polar bed Shotzy and my little polar bear Snowflake who I love and I got in Churchill, Manitoba and my lovely Teddy Bear Monty who is from Vermont.

My bed is a queen sized bed and I have it all to myself. It is very nice because it is very soft.

In this blog I shall say a completely random word and then describe them.

For example: Polar Bear. A soft, small creature which is one of the three most dangerous creatures on earth. The other two are alligators and I forget the other one. The polar bears that I have are 100 percent real. I know this because they told me when I first laid eyes on them. I first laid eyes on Monty when I was a baby. Snowflake I saw her in the Eskimo Museum in Churchill and she called out to me, “Simon, Simon. Help me, help me!” and she bounded towards me and I just had to get her. She told me she was only fed a quarter of a fish every day. It made me feel sorry for her so I had to rescue her. I had to free her. I just knew I had to. She came home riding on my arm and she has been with me ever since.

She loves to play with Monty and Ice Cube. Ice Cube is my other polar bear. Ice Cube is a boy my Mama Jo rescued for me from the San Diego Zoo. He was being ill treated because nobody ever paid attention to him. And I cannot imagine anything worse then not being paid attention to.

Ice Cube and Snowflake are long lost brother and sister. Ice Cube was very excited to go back to Churchill and Snowflake was very happy that I rescued her because she was starving. I could tell she was starving because it was hard to hear her over her tummy rumbling. But now she is nice and fine.

The next word: Green. Green is a color. A very nice color. My favorite color. I don’t really know why it is my favorite, it just is. When I see green it makes me feel calm and I like to feel calm. When I am feeling calm I am more creative in my thoughts and then I can think about…well, anything. When I use to look out the window in my old bedroom in London I would see lots of green – the grass, leaves, flower stems. I could see the green covers on our folding chairs. Green is the color of life.

The next word: Cupboard, also known as a wardrobe. They are very helpful. They help you to store things; however they don’t help you if you are putting them in storage. A cupboard can hold all sorts of things: boxes, stuffed animals, legos, pillows, baby cribs – pretty much anything – except a bigger cupboard.

If I was walking into an empty room and there was cupboard in front of me and I opened it up I would want to find candy bursting out at me. This magic cupboard would not have any drawers, it would be filled with candy. You could walk inside it and you could keep on going and it would never end. Candy for eternity. There would be every single type of candy like Twixt, Kit Kats, Three Musketeers, Maltessers, ice cream, every single thing that is not healthy for you. Everything that you would want. The Cupboard of Life – it would give you everything that you would want

However, I am afraid there is no such thing. If there is – please tell me because I would like to see it. And I would also like to go in it. Please send me a picture or a video. My email is simon@familyadventureyear.com

The next word: Candy. Something that all kids love and grownups despise. Something that you only love when you are a kid and never when you are an adult. So enjoy it now when you can, if you have already passed the time for candy then too bad for you.

Good bye for now. Signing off from the queen sized bed in Sun Valley, Idaho.

Marble Run

Here is a video of a marble run I constructed. Special thanks to my friend Jack C. for letting us stay in his holiday house and play with his toys.

What I am Not Going to Write About #3

Today is Wednesday October 28th and I am in Bozeman, Montana and it is snowing outside. Actually, it is not snowing right now there is just a lot of snow on the ground. Oh – here is the update – I just looked out the window and it is snowing a bit.

I was not surprised about the snow today at all because it was snowing very hard last night when we came back from the pizza restaurant.

Now back to the subject of what I am not going to write about today.

I am not going to write about how I saw polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba on a tundra buggy. I am not going to tell you about the 4 polar bears that I saw napping or the one named Paul that was the biggest and scariest and ate bananas or how he came on board the tundra buggy and started to drive. He drove us to the shopping mall to get some more bananas. The shop keeper didn’t let him buy anything because he didn’t have any money so everybody on the tundra buggy paid for him to get 500 bunches of bananas. He goes bananas when he doesn’t get bananas.

Alright, that was a lie. He really doesn’t like bananas. Here is a polar bear fact – polar bears eat fish and seals, they are carnivores and they don’t even eat fruit although if it is a matter of life and death they will.

I am not going to talk about the Bear Jail where they keep bad bears. The bad bears are those that come into the town of Churchill and try to eat the food from the garbage cans. One stripe is their warning, the second stripe and they are out. There is even a bear police. It is all very serious because no one likes bears eating trash – because if they eat all the trash the trash workers don’t get paid. And if the trash workers don’t get paid then they quit and then if the bears stop coming then the trash builds up – it is all very confusing.

I am not going to write about making chocolates with Julia – my mom’s friend who is now my friend too. The hardest part about making cakes with Julia is the taste testing because you always need to make sure the cake isn’t poisonous. To do a cake taste test you have to take a bite of the finished product, in this case chocolate cake, and the secret ingredient is fish. And that is not a joke.

Julia told us that the cake makers have to be very happy when they are making the cake or otherwise the chocolate turns bitter. I told the cake some jokes and we were all very happy anyway because we knew we would get some chocolate when it was done. I can never imagine a chocolate cake maker who wasn’t happy.

And I will not even tell about a hotel we stayed in in Chamberlain, South Dakota. The first one had a wet floor, the second one smelled like cigarettes smoke and the third one had weird coffee stains on the sheets. But the final time we went to the manager he was really upset that we were upset and he gave us a complimentary upgrade so we got to stay in a suite.

Today we are off to Idaho Falls – I hope the storm doesn’t follow us.

Adios Amigos.


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I Hate RV Elementary School - Fiction

RV Elementary is the worse school I have ever gone to. The teachers are terrible because they make me do really boring work. You may think we are the luckiest people on earth – well, you don’t know what it is like to go to RV Elementary!

The teachers clothes are very ugly especially Miss Snodgrass and Mr. Higgenbottom - or Mr. HagissButt as I should say. For example – Mr. HaggisButt always eats haggis and it dribbles down on to his socks and Mr. HaggisButt doesn’t wear pants and has haggis on his head. He says it is refreshing, but I don’t believe him

Miss Snodgrass’s hair is so long it makes her trip. She has tripped all the students and they get tangled up in her hair. There are about 500 kids stuck in her hair right now and all the class pets are stuck there as well. Such as James the Gerbil, Thomas the Turtle, Harvey the Hamster and Dom the Dog. The only way to get out of her hair is by her tripping – which happens about every 30 seconds.

Miss Snodgrass wears rags – she doesn’t have any proper clothes. She wears a tunic the color of swamp green and the reason why it is swamp green is from the annual Swamp Trip where you go swimming in a swamp. At first when the Annual School Field Trip was announced everybody below second grade ran to sign up because they thought they were going swimming. All the second graders warned the first graders so they didn’t go. We forgot to warn the kindergarteners so they came back smelling of a swamp with tons of flies all around them. Nobody wanted to be near them, except for the flies, but I don’t think they count as people.

Miss Snodgrass wears baby shoes. She just crams one toe in each one. But baby shoes don’t count as shoes unless you are a baby. They do not look comfortable for any one I know.

Miss. Snodgrass’s voice sounds sharp and fierce. No one ever wants to be in her class. For instance she calls herself, “The Teacher from The Old Country”. And everything must be done like it was “In the Old Country”. It is very annoying.

For lunch we go to the cafeteria which is pretty good. That is the only good thing about RV Elementary. There are all sorts of delicious things like pasta with butter – they will cook anything you want.

Recess? We don’t even have recess at RV Elementary.

We are strapped into our chairs for about 15 hours each day. But it feels like 15 years. During that time we are suppose to be learning but really we are just listening to Miss Snodgrass read to us from the longest chapter book in the world called, A Long Way From Home. It takes about 15 years to read the entire book – well, that is the least anyone has read it in. She reads us a page a day and it has 5 billion pages in to. It is actually a pretty good book but she spits on us when she reads. I sit in the very back – that is my assigned seat – luckily. The kids in front, well, no one over likes them because they are always soaking wet from Miss SnotGrass spit.

Time for me to go clean out the rat cage. Bye.

What I Am Not Going to Blog about #2

Today I am sitting in a coffee shop called Timothy’s World Coffee in Winnipeg, Canada. Winnipeg is in Manitoba which is a Province. They don’t have states in Canada. I am drinking a hot chocolate and eating a big nice chocolate brownie thing.

We just finished going to the Winnipeg Zoo which until 2008 contained the world’s longest living polar bear. But then in 2008 unfortunately she died. Unfortunately they don’t have any more polar bears at the Winnipeg Zoo.

Oh man, we are off the subject again…alright…so this is what I am not going to blog about…

First off I am not going to blog about how I really don’t like cherry pie with ketchup. I just wrote that for fun. Really I like my cherry pie plain or with any type of ice cream.

I am not going to blog about Minnesota or staying with Rachel and Leah and playing Knights of Sedonia on guitar hero until I was sick of it.

I am not going to blog about the Renaissance Fair and how I won a toy dagger with a game involving frogs and a catapult and a big bucket of water. That is for another blog another day that will only happen if I go to a city in an alternative universe in an alternative dimension 50 million galaxies away on a planet called Zenuom. But the chances are about 50 50 that I will go there.

I am not going to blog about Gabby and Isobel, the beautiful golden retrievers that live with Rachel and Leah or about how it makes me want to get a dog in our real house on the planet called Zenuom.

And I am certainly not going to blog about the book I am reading called Double Fudge by Judy Blume. Or how I am already on page 94 out of 213. I shouldn’t say too much because this is just way off the subject…

I am not going to talk about any of the parties that people had for us in Minnesota like at Auntie Julia where we played Scrabble and Electronic Life and Josh ate 50 billion cake bites. I only ate 3, don’t worry.

In fact I am not going to blog about anything.

Oh man, I just bloged about something.

Gotta go now.

Bye.

PS I like pie.